Near death experience

They say your brain is still alive for at least 15 seconds after you are dead. My sub-conscious was well aware of this fact even before I got hit with the bullet. I could not make a move or sound. There was no struggle, the transition was fairly quick and my heart beating came to an end.

In an accident, an unfortunate driver who came out alive happened to witness his beheaded passenger. The head fell right before its torso. The scary eyes went bewildered glancing the torso and the driver. A real story based harsh outline, but it is not anything like what I went through in my deep dreaming where the bullet hit me. My conscious lived short-lived the aftermath, yet it felt distastefully new than the bizarre things that followed.

The bullet shot is clean. All of this is happening for real. There is no way one would survive. So duped to get on with my next journey, I could care less to strive staying back. Convinced of my lost control, I have given myself in the way one does to a roller coaster ride. It is bit scary but it turned out nothing significant compared to my disappointment I am about to face.

It feels light, so light a feather would not make sense anymore. It feels like I am floating in the void. A dark void. I feel good, free of earthly pains and free of gravity. I did not bother to check my surroundings. From the reflux I knew I lost the sense of touch. I did not wonder then, but is this why a human has instincts to grab hold of surroundings in an uncertain event? Who could tell that for sure.

I do not know when I started to sense absence of any memories. It was totally blank. Free of thoughts and memories. The lack of any thoughts made me feel safe. Its actually the darkness surrounding me that was assuring the security. Its deep dark, a darkness I never imagined to perceive. I started feeling the apparent disconnect. It is all convincing. Perhaps lack of senses blinds you more. At no point it stuck me it is dead silent all around me. I could not hear, touch, or smell - is this what a soul feels like? It was not exactly like I started accounting the disconnect but I already have set reservations upfront on the events that need to follow. I knew I did not have to wait any longer for the next event to happen.

I am in a state of euphoria given its not all that horrifying. I would not have felt any needle piercing. I would not possibly see any demon. After all, while loosing the senses what could possibly go worse? One after the other, parts of me are getting shut. I am feeling relaxed. Its end of climax and I am getting ready for a nap. I have accomplished the suspenseful ordeal. All of a sudden, it happened. Its stopped. Its stopped and its incomplete. A part of me is forced to kept alive. I still could not do a bit about it. I cannot bring any thoughts but it still feels alive. Its my brain! Its left alive !

I cannot explain how depressed I am now. I had every expectation that my sense of feel would be totally shut too. I feel disturbed. A cockroach lives 9 days in this state?! It feels terrifying just to go through that split second.

I dont know if is the travel or the disappointment that started first. I have no idea where I am being sent. The scariness came back and I am traveling in that darkness. I am able to visualize this as though I am watching myself on a big screen. I knew I am going to carry me with myself from here on and its not going to change. I hate it. Event before I could totally absorb all of this I sensed a distant bright outlet. My eyes are still shut. The bright outlet is moving towards me. Everything is picking up pace and there is not a bit I can do. I am moving at a faster pace now. The bright outlet is quickly turning into an opening. I felt like I am about to be sucked in. It approaching faster now. All of this is happening in presence of my consciousness. I have no idea what is behind that bright white cave. It does not seem inviting. I hated it over and over. I am almost close to the opening now. There is nothing else in the void other than me. And right then, I felt a sent back. And then I back from my sleep.

My eyes wide open I quickly felt relieved. It took me good couple of minutes to make sure it was all dream. A dream experience so new and so real. The vivid memories have it in me for few years now. Well before the 'Inception'.

The other day I was watching a show on the discovery. A pilot miraculous survived a flight stunt. It was the paramedics which it made it possible to bring him through CPR. Days later after his recovery, on an interview the pilot narrated his experience of the time he thought he lost his chance. Its strikingly similar to what I dreamed. The darkness, the bright cave and the sent back. How could the half burnt, broken-chest be telling something I visualized once?